Bad Romance
by Die.Freaks1282
Summary: This is the complete Naruto series, except I modified Sakura to fit my standards. Yeah, I basically have this all planned out, I just need to find time to write it.
1. Chapter 1

Okayz, so this story was based on the song "Bad Romance", by Lady Gaga, ESPECIALLY the part about the psycho and diseased, and the "love and revenge" part. I instantly thought "Sasuke and Sakura." I know, I'm not a big fan of the pair, but when Sakura hates him, oh yes, things get interesting. LUVSU!!  
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"THE HOKAGE'S **_FACE!!!!????_**"

Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto giggled and sprinted as far away from the monument as fast as they could get.

"Huff...that...wheeze...was...gasp...AWESOME!" Sakura screamed.

"I know! Believe it!" Naruto hyperized.

They slapped eachother high-fives in victory.

Meet Haruno Sakura.

Twelve years old, pink hair, green eyes, tough as hell, and almost as mischievous as her partner in crime, Naruto.

Enter Uzumaki Naruto.

Twelve years old, yellow hair, cerulean eyes, a big softie on the inside, and co-founder of "KIB: Crime it up."

"NARUTOOOOO!"

Oh yeah, and Iruka-sensei.

Each kid jumped to attention, saluting the angry, venomous sensei.

"Oh, you both are IN FOR IT!! GET BACK TO CLASS!!"

Sakura and Naruto slouched, muttering something about "power-crazy ass-fucks" and "kiss-ass bitch-fucks". Iruka sighed. What was he going to do with the two orphans? He brightened immediately. Team them up with someone who was the total opposite-one person-who had amazing skills-same person- and who was orphaned too-same person!! God, he was a genius!

Chicken-ass-head wouldn't like it too much, though...


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura and Naruto were shoved into the classroom while yelling,

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLES! EVER HAD FUN IN YOUR FUCKING WORTHLESS LIVES?! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP US, BITCHES!"

Oh, yes, they were the life of the classroom.

Iruka followed after them, sighing. The class fidgeted nervously. Normally, Iruka-sensei would counter their useless banter with something just as foul-mouthed, but when he had just come up with a "brilliant" plan, he was in an extremely good mood and just sighed. They thought he would have learned his lesson after the very memorable "banana incident", but NOOOOOO, poor Choji being green and orange and purple for a few weeks was just not enough to satisfy the devious Sensei.

Each hoped to Kami they weren't part of the plan.

"Alright, today we will be testing for a shinobi-title and a hitai-ate with the clone jutsu!" He boomed out.

Naruto groaned. This was his worst-fucking jutsu! They had to do this EVERY TIME??!!

Sakura just smirked. She had this jutsu DOWN.

Sensei called out names in random order.

"Uchiha Sasuke!"

Said boy walked out of his desk and performed the jutsu perfectly and with great speed. He walked back up the stairs and smirked at Sakura, saying "Beat that, bitch." The pink-haired girl puffed up like a balloon.

"Why, you little mother-fu--

"Haruno Sakura!" Iruka interrupted. Smart move, too. He just prevented the very first atom bomb in Japan.

She walked up to the front of the room, held her hands up, and with one hand executed the jutsu, with perfect clones then stared at Iruka with a look that said, "That was nothing. Give me my hitai-ate, Bitch."

So he did, and she tied it around her head like a head-band.

She looked at Sasuke and made a sign like masturbating while pointing at him.

He understood the message. "Fuck you."

These were not the average potty-mouths.

These were full-blown toilets.

The class wore on, and the only one who didn't pass was Naruto. Sakura immediately came to the rescue.

"Aw, Naru-Chan! Those assholes don't DESERVE to have you working under them! We'll practice every day and THEN we'll show them who's the NINJA!" She cheered. Naruto brightenend up a little.

"I don't get it, Sakura-Chan. Why do they hate me?" He gloomed. "Why?"

"Because we're orphans, Naruto-Kun. They don't understand, and people hate and fear what they don't understand." She replied sadly.

Naruto got up off the swing, said 'thane kyu' really fast so it sounded like 'thank you' and walked away. Sakura breathed out a little.

"Poor boy..."

Naruto was caught up by Mizuki, and the rest of what happened to Naruto is history.

Back to Sakura.

"OY! FOREHEAD!!" a female voice called.

"HEY, PIG!" she replied half-heartedly.

Here's the story. Sakura never had a crush on Sasuke, so Ino and her remained best buds.

"What's wrong, Billboard?" She asked.

"Naruto didn't graduate." She replied miserably.

"Oh. Well, there's always next year." She comforted, but brightened up instantly.

"OH YEAH! Did you see what you did with ONE FLIPPING HAND earlier?! I don't know any ninja who could do THAT!"

"So what?"

"How can you take it so lightly?"

"Because I'm at Chunin level, Ino."

"WHAT? NO WAY!!"

"INO! Shhhhh."

"Thing is, I've been training my ass--sorry, butt--off since I was three."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Well, show me some moves so that I know you aren't lying."

"Alright. I'll spar with Iruka-Sensei!"

"Alright!"

The two girls scampered off to find their sensei.

"Iruka-Sensei?" Sakura asked politely.

"What?" He answered bluntly.

"I have a favor to ask of you."

Iruka REALLY didn't like Sakura, but...then again...he'd always had a soft spot for orphans of the Kyubi-attack...

"Fine..."

"Thank you so much!"

"But we're doing it at training ground three!"

"YAY!!"

So they headed off to training ground three. Ino was the judge.

"Alright...GOOOOO!"

"Taijutsu only!" they screamed simoultaneously.

Then they fought.

Sakura was faster than the eye could see, and apparently stronger than Iruka. Within seconds, he was down on the floor, bruised and battered.

"OH! Sorry, Sensei! Here, I'll heal you!" She blurted.

"No, that's--ahhhh..."He was suddenly feeling very good. He looked down and saw healing chakra enveloping his cuts and bruises.

"Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"Oh, it's just some minor healing that I picked up from some books..." She grinned and stood up. "There, all better now!"

"Thanks, Sakura." He stood up. "But why the sudden change of attitude?"

"Oh. I only torment my current senseis." She grinned mischeivously.

"Right." He better pick someone who wouldn't give in easily.

"BYE!!" She walked away. "AND THE EXTRA STRENGTH WAS FOR FAILING NARUTO!!"

He smiled a little exasperatedly. She was really, truly loyal to those she cared about...

And he could see that she was going to be beautiful when she grew up. She had it made, but he knew she would trade it all for her parents back.

Anything for his parents back...

"I need a drink..." he mumbled and headed off to where Genma spent his days.

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**Gosh. I didn't know this was going to be so popular. Thanks guys and girls for reviewing and adding me to tons of crap! Sorry for making all the innocent little characters toilets. It was just too much to resist! Oh, and there's this really funny story I'm reading called _Konoha's Yellow Flash Really Hates Paperwork._ Ha ha ha ha ha! Please read and review!**

**Hate mail welcome.**


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